the other side

Protecting those individuals whom one cares about, seems to be a common sentiment and idea. The parent protecting the child, the spouse protecting their partner, the whole concept of 'sticking up' for friends and family. Often the protection is thought of as being against things like violence, a 'cruel world,' disappointment, hunger, heartache, etc.

But what if the thing you want to protect them from is your life? Not necessarily being that it's some dark secret that you want to keep from say your partner. But rather that you just wish that you could keep the part of your life that they're a part of separate from some part of your life that is difficult or trying. Even if you know that they'd be understanding, compassionate, and supportive, you just want to spare them from having to see the darker side of your life and maybe even so they don't have to see you weak.

How do you share your life with someone or just open yourself up to them if you can't allow them to truly see all of you? I've often thought of it as wishing that I could make a bubble around them to protect them from myself, in essence. Though, perhaps the bubble is really around myself, protecting me from what I fear they might think of me if they knew all of my life. It's this feeling of wanting them to only see the happy side, not the pain or emotions, because I feel that they deserve the best.

Do you protect the person you care about or do you protect yourself from a fear of rejection? Or, do you breakdown the glass wall (or pop the bubbles) between the two of you and just hope that they will not be frightened by what's on your side of the wall?

Yet, it really doesn't seem right to lead 'dual lives'--not for the person leading them nor for those that they care about. So, perhaps the best decision is to bring the two parts of your life together and do the best you can to show those you care about that this other part is only a piece of you. A piece that won't affect how you value or feel about them. And, you're really the same person you've always been, the same person who cares about them.